The Sleeping A-Duty and the 1stSgts Poopy Desk
Yesterday I was reminded of an incident that happened 35 years ago (1986). At the time I was a boot Cpl, brand new into STA Platoon 3/3. SSgt Phil Anderson was the Plt Sgt. Until Phil told me yesterday, I had no idea how close I came to Burning for this; like you will see below – it seemed he only wanted to burn Marines.
One night while I was assigned as the DNCO (Duty Noncommissioned Officer) for 3/3 Weapons Company, therefore I was the Company Commanders representative and I was in-charge of the Barracks. I was a Corporal and my assistant was a Lance Corporal (LCpl) from another platoon.
I watched a bunch of Marines from my platoon departing for Waikiki to party and naturally they harassed me for having duty. About 1 am I caught some sleep in the recreation room, which was just across from the Duty Desk. Apparently, my A-Duty fell asleep on post and my guys figured it was a good time to take care of some business.
We had a 1st Sgt that came over from the MPs (Military Police) and it seemed all he wanted to do was burn Marines, mostly for minor infractions. At about 7 am the 1st Sgt showed up for work and started screaming for the Duty (me). I ran over to the Company Office (50 feet away) to see, and smell, what the 1st Sgt was yelling about. When I walked into his office I almost puked immediately. Someone had broken into the Company office during the night and had taken a crap on his desk. But that was not enough for the poop bandit. The culprit then took the 1st Sgts name plate (a piece of wood with his name on it) and scooped up the poop and flung it everywhere; on the walls, ceiling, even inside the filing cabinets, etc. (everywhere).
The 1st Sgt told me that he was going to work out and I had two hours to clean up his office. He walked away, leaving me standing there stunned. I walked over the Company XOs office (he was a prior enlisted GySgt (Retired Col Shultz WTBN Quantico) and knocked on his door. He was laughing and asked what I wanted. I told him I refused to clean the 1st Sgts office. He continued laughing and said, “You are a Cpl, go get some junior Marines and make them clean it up.” I grabbed two LCpls and told them to go get their gas masks and report back to me. When the 1st Sgt returned his office, it was still a nightmare. It actually took a couple of days to clean his office and even longer to get all of the terrible smell out of the Company office.
A few hours after the incident a bunch of the STA Marines came up to me laughing and told me what they did and why. They had talked about crapping on the 1st Sgts desk many times and when they found my A-Duty sleeping on post they felt it was the right time to act. I asked why they would do it when I was on duty and they said they did because the 1st Sgt would not suspect them due to me, a STA bubba, being on duty.
The 1st Sgt never found the culprits.
He was the worst 1st Sgt I ever had; by far.
Thanks assholes…….
We (STA Plt) put SSgt Phin Anderson through hell.
SF DKD
Photo: (1) Phil and me on hill 9494, (2) Stress on Okinawa (87′), (3) STA 3/3 Marine Corps Mountain Warfare Training Center, Bridgeport CA, 1986.
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Devaney! Hello! Wow blast from the past. I was surfing the internet when I saw your book. My jaw dropped and then when I read your bio it dropped again. Congrats on your achievements and becoming a SgtMaj. Just a quick shout out and hope all is well. This is Cpl Solis Sta plt 3/3.
I will let Dave know! He’s on Facebook and posts under the group Coyote Brown
There was someone in college who did that a lot in the men’s head (which was significantly large with many sinks, showers and toilets, chances were someone was in there while you were). Someway, somehow, poop was all over the place overnight, “The Macarena” while the culprit let loose was guessed at by someone there at the time who also couldn’t figure out how they made such a mess. One of the housekeepers (an apparent, religious, simple type–a person too good for this world) said of it all “I pray for him.” That had me praying for her; my guess was she was the one that cleaned it. Thinking back, there may have been two people working together–a, well, inside job. As far as I know, whoever it was never got caught; it was very strange, a fetish of some sort that may have involved a look-out–a, well, spotter. It was also somewhat impossible; there were no empty rooms in the men’s dorm, or if there were, they were few, this was also on the third floor where a lot of people might be at any time, this being pre-Virginia Tech; there were visitors who weren’t in school, co-eds stayed the night, too, although they weren’t actually supposed to but being as women claim they aren’t like men, they probably carry the same amount of poop as a man could; some of them can also really throw–that only adds to the mystery aw