“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
I have good days and bad days, lately my good days have outweighed my bad. But there are days where my soul is tired, my mind is wrought with the painful awareness of my humanity.
I have been on a journey, filled with consequences of my actions, situations out of my control, times of desperation, crippling guilt, anxiety beyond my control over the fear of failing one more time, letting someone down one more time, being a disappointment, being less than what my own standard is for myself. I have learned so much from every part of my life. I have learned that in life we must truly take hold of our thoughts, our minds are incomprehensibly powerful. Yes I may get crap for being a “hippie” and as I continue to follow my path in life to serve others, I am made aware more and more of how disconnected from ourselves as humans we have become.
So much of our self destructive behavior and defeat, solely is rooted in the failure to accept our humanity. We live life with these pre-programmed expectations of ourselves, our life, our surroundings; constantly being updated through social media, our life and experience categorized into boxes in an attempt to feel in control and give purpose to our contribution to society. I have found peace and healing in accepting myself in totality. Self reflection, truly looking inward at who you are, finding grace in your existence. We are living life that is a one shot journey. There is no growth without some form of struggle, I used to be so caught up in the appearance of being together, successful, that when all the people who used to tell me I wouldn’t make it to 18, or I am never going to amount to anything, or would use all my mistakes or failures to make themselves feel better, or mock me in owning all things good and bad I’m my life. I wanted to prove Them wrong. Oh, how petty the Ego is.
In owning your life, your darkness, your light, you take away the power of anxiety, the power of guilt and feelings of worthlessness and failure.
Instead growing in the things that truly matter. Love, Empathy, Kindness, Truth, Humility.
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