I have been through so much this year, the results of trust and love betrayed can be devastating. I could have gone further down a path of self destruction than I did, but instead I found myself in its fire.

Instead of becoming colder and regretful, I was made softer and more understanding. Knowing myself more clearly and finding true healing in the heat of its devastation.

It is a funny thing to become complete, to know yourself truly and fully, to heal, to find peace, to become wholly a man, no longer a child. The irony of this past year is that though it was a love betrayed, it was love I found. Not selfishly only for myself, but for others. I found the wisdom to find love that in all things and peoples. To see everything and everyone with empathy, humility, patience and understanding.

It was in the storm, it was in my public humiliation, the loss of work, the questioning of my character, the defamation of my name, that I found peace!

We must choose in times of struggle to let them refine ourselves, not define ourselves! To choose to find victory in humility, not be a victim of arrogant self loathing.

I keep repeating our minds and our thoughts are ours alone to master. Until we truly understand how much control we have of ourselves, when we feel we have no control of our lives, than we will blindly walk through life. No drugs, no therapy, no quick fixes will ever be enough, till you know yourself and be true with yourself.

To accept your choices, decisions, the consequences or circumstance resulting. To be honest with your own accountability, humble yourself enough to be refined by adversity not defined by it.

I do not regret loving people, even my enemies, despite the hurt and pain I have been subjected to. Because if we have not love then we have nothing. There is no hope for redemption or forgiveness, for healing or growth; only condemnation, hopelessness, self loathing and destruction, trapped by our past without any hope of a better future.

Be encouraged today wherever you are or are going through, you have the ability to learn from it, gain wisdom and understanding from it, to be victorious in the face of defeat.

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