Every man speaks easily about the things he hates; try getting him to speak deeply about the things he loves, and he hesitates. He becomes a jug filled with raw words inside a body of silence, and that cracked vessel will spill nothing. Before he left home, life was poetry and filled with song. When he returned it was a shame to think of such things. The world over are many men who dream of home. Paul Simon sang about it in his song Homeward Bound. In Biblical history Moses and his people spent 40 years searching for it. The idea of where home is or where home was never leaves us. We may feel out of touch at times as if there isn’t a place for us but even in our transitions there are locations. In the book a Soldier’s Home by Ernest Hemingway the story is about Harold Krebs. Krebs returns home to Oklahoma after seeing action in some of the bloodiest battles of WW1. His family and friends treat him as they did before he left for war. No one understands him or the stories he tells. He is disconnected. Home is not home. He is depressed or suffers from PTSD. He is a stranger in a strange land. His story is not unknown to many who serve in today’s modern military. For men like Krebs to exist they need to forget everything they are in order to survive. But for men like Krebs to live, they must be courageous and not live a lie. It is not better for the hero to live falsely. He must live openly for his wounds to heal or he will not have peace at home or abroad. Krebs must go forward regardless of how painful he believes it is. Men must have a refuge.
You must work to stay connected in order to combat your loneliness and social isolation. You might not get what you want out of your relationships but sometimes you can get what you need. Don’t shut down relationships, just find your kind of people. Also, start looking at meeting your own needs. Lastly, be patient.