π§ππ ππ’π¦π¦ π’π ππ‘π‘π’πππ‘ππ …π£π’ πΈπ€π π±π²…
There I stood. Once again covered in blood that was not my own. Facing the door made out of Hesco, a 6β shadow man drawn on the cloth with black sharpie; acting as a mirror, my proverbial reflection of the shadow of a man I once was.
My eyes ride the make shift flag pole from branches and 550 cord, to see the flag at half mast. As I light another cigarette, silent tears create streaks in the blood that has dried to my face. The scene replays over & over, the feeling of both crew chiefs grabbing my arms & plate carrier as I fight with all my strength to hold his hand. Screaming violently at the flight medic to do his fcking job. Put pressure on the wound.
The feeling of release from his grip, the tumble off the back of the ramp as I am tossed off the bird.
Iβm brought back to the present as I walk through the door, Iβm unable to move, my brothers begin to take off my gear, mags welded together from dried blood, I just stand motionless. βdonβt break down β I tell myself as I light another cigarette. I glance to where I sleep, a black cave now with an empty rack, tonight I will be alone with my thoughts.
The first words spoken: βHe didnβt like haircuts, or blouse his boots, …a list of shit baggery.β Followed with βbut he did good things out here.β
At what point did a man’s life & legacy even in death, only be surmised by garrison regulations?
I am speechless, I can only stare back into the POG 1st Sgtβs eyes, with rage, hate, & disgust. You and your kind will never understand.
It was then I decided I would get out. I would never open myself emotionally, never love, never care, I will protect myself & build walls that consequently would imprison me.
It was then I felt my soul leave, my hope & innocence faded away with the smoke I exhaled; on the shoulders of death, my childhood was left in the fields bewitched by honor, murdered by war.
We go through things that will effect us forever. We must choose the narrow path, push through & not live in the shadow of those moments; or they will destroy us & we will become another unnecessary casualty.
~α΄‘α΄ΚΚΙͺα΄α΄Ιͺα΄
This art is byΒ @invader_grrr
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I am an ICU nurse also covered in blood that is not my own. We are in a shitstorm with an enemy so small it cannot be seen. Last night we worked 7 hours to keep a man alive who should not be dead. But a selfish person made of them self a biological weapon and infected eight innocent people. At 0200, I pulled off all my gear and went to call a stranger with the news his brother was dead. But he did not die alone. Nor did your friend.