Every male who wants to attain the title of being a “Man” should work on some variation of what I’m about to say. There are quite a few stories floating around social media about the evolution of dating as you get older and it seemed as though some things were a bit overblown and that in truth, should be brought out more bluntly. For everyone else, I’d like to state that because someone is older, it does not mean that they are a “Man”. I’ve met a lot of 25, 30+ year old “boys”, and amazingly met 20; 21 year olds should without a doubt be called “Men”. I believe this partial list will give insight as to what makes us males as “Men” And some traits that provide us the privilege to be known as men.
1. Men and Emotions
Yes, everyone feels them, women and men alike but “Men” should have a solid grasp on what gets exposed and what doesn’t. There’s all this talk about “controlling” emotions but I think the word “control” is overly used as if a Man can tell himself what to feel and what not to. This is false: males are not robots, or automatons. As I grew older I found that I don’t get less angry, less sad, less happy – I just learned when it is appropriate to express some emotions at certain times and not at others.
2. A Man and Goals.
Men need to have goals – a Man should identify what he wants. Real “Men” should determine a goal for their life and work to attain it. I’m not trying to bash anyone’s free spirit, because hey, if that’s your goal than live it to its extent. “Boys” say they’re this or that, and they’re searching for themselves. – No. You pick an ideal, goal and you spend your 20’s working to refine it and develop it, and when you get to your 30’s hopefully you get paid for it. If you’re lucky this’ll happen at the same time. When I speak to women and they tell me that a guy has his hands in one too many baskets without a clear consensus on what he wants then he is a “Boy”. A warning though; talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words. Male’s goals are not generally documented, and overall, not advertised. Trust me, though, when a Man truly believes in something he is passionate and intense, and this intensity and passion will shine through.
3. The critical Man
In the last twenty years our world has changed dramatically. This generation has access to information in an unprecedented manner that is freely available at all times. The complete insanity in all of this is the way this information is regurgitated in the same manner, over and over. There are few too many whom recycle information and cant create a free or unique thought of their own. I completely understand that information is knowledge, but “boys” are too quick to share it. “Men” please don’t automatically blast something into cyberspace because it strikes some emotional nerve in you. “Men” do your due diligence and understand thoroughly what is being passed through the endless news cycle we all now experience. When a real “Man” hasn’t, hopefully he will be completely honest and state that he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. “Boys” will recycle news and headlines and do their best to pretend they know what they are talking about. Don’t be a critical asshole, just to be a critic, study the information presented. Develop your own thoughts and then choose a stance on intelligently developed ideas and thoughts.
4. The concise Man
It is too often I listen to my peers go on and on to state a point that could have been made with far fewer words. I am not saying Men should be less talkative, I’m just stating if you have a point, attempt to make it with far fewer words. It will speak volumes more about you, than going over the same track ten times. Try asking two questions instead of ten. Think before you speak. This brings up my third point about being critical. A Man should be a more attuned at listening, not just in the sense that your hearing it, but in the sense that your listening and processing the information presented. Keep it simple stupid.
5. The Man himself.
“Men” are honest with themselves and understand what they are lacking Many “Boys” perform a self assessment and believe they are a bit higher on the one to ten scale than they actually should be. If you’re a better talker than you look, try avoiding loud clubs. If you look good, good for you, try to retain some wits. Getting the opposite sex to become attracted to you isn’t as completely difficult as some make it out to be. If you’re attractive a large portion of the job is already done, and unfortunately, in most cases there isn’t much more that needs to be accomplished to have women pay attention to you. This is without a doubt the sad effect of stereotypes that are rampant throughout society. But if this isn’t you, there is no reason to lose hope. There is no such thing as a hopeless situation – just people trapped in hopeless situations. Be proud to admit you suck at something, you’re Men. All of us know people are not perfect. Men, create realistic expectations. The boys out there will still be Googling the word expectations, and yet never having any for themselves.
Patrick is a Special Warfare Combatant-Craft Crewmen (SWCC) member and also one of the cadre with GoRuck. On his free time he builds his company GPMKIT.
This article is a repost from Patrick’s site.